Not Catching Love (Accidental Love Book 5) by Saxon James


We've made it to the end of another great series by Saxon James. Xander has been a staple of the Accidental Love books and it's finally time for him to find his forever.


From the Not Catching Love blurb:

Xander


There’s something seriously wrong with me.

For once, I’m not talking about the health anxiety that randomly pops up and wreaks havoc on my life. I'm talking about, well, everything else.

All my roommates have found someone to love them, and it hurts to see the guys who used to have me at the center of their worlds pair off and grow up, especially when it’s a reminder of how alone I've always been. I’ve always had an issue with relationships. With forming a connection with people outside of Seven, but this is more.

Because I want to find my someone.

Except the one person my brain has latched onto is the one person I can never have. The one person who’s there to help me when my panic attacks get too much.

Nurse Derek.

Derek

I should never have offered to treat Xander Moore.

And now here I am years later, my life on hold, while I wait day in and day out for the call that Xander needs me. It always comes, and I always answer, but I’m starting to dread those visits.

Lately, I’m looking at Xander in a way a medical professional should never look at their patient.

When Xander starts volunteering at the same nursing home that I do, I get to see a new side of him. The artistic, charismatic side that draws the residents in. I get glimpses of a man who’s so much more than his anxiety, and it does nothing to help my feelings for him.

Lines begin to blur and I have no choice but to stop treating him. That at least allows us to be friends. The only problem is, being friends isn’t enough for either of us.

It’s wrong, unethical, and unprofessional, but my heart won’t listen. It’s decided on Xander, and it doesn’t want to wait. Neither does Xander.

But if I want to keep my job, I have to resist.

I just wish he didn’t make that so difficult.


Jacqueleen the Reading Queen's review:

"๐˜Œ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜บ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ. ๐˜Ÿ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฃ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด. ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜บ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ข ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ. ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ, ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฑ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต ๐˜ง๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜น๐˜ต ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ.

๐˜Ÿ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ'๐˜ด ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ข๐˜ฃ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฐ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ฆ.

๐˜ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฑ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฎ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜บ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜บ."

Saxon warned us at the start of this book that we might not like Xander in the first part and sadly, she was right. This became especially true for me when I realized how much Derek truly put his life on hold to be there for Xander, while Xander was consistently a jerk to him when Derek didn't behave the way he wanted him to. Yes this is Xander's defense mechanism in full force, but that does not excuse some of the things he would lash out and say. I was very proud of Derek for being so mature and not accepting that kind of treatment. Xander definitely needed a reality check when it came to his initial treatment of Derek, someone Xander claimed to care deeply for. It may have seemed harsh, but it was needed.

"...๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ด ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ'๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜จ๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ถ๐˜ฑ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฎ. ๐˜‰๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ถ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฐ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ต ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜จ๐˜ข๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ถ๐˜ฑ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฎ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ง ๐˜ข ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜จ๐˜ฐ?"

I once heard a quote "Mental health is not your fault, but it is your responsibility." As someone who partakes in regular therapy, I agree with this sentiment. Like Xander, it took me awhile to get there. Sometimes it's easier to have something to blame instead of taking on the responsibility for yourself. Hiding behind the mask is comfortable. You're used to it. When someone wants you to take off that mask, say a psychiatrist, it can be daunting. Sometimes it hurts before it gets better and many quit in that initial hurting stage. I'm pretty sure Xander would have too if it wasn't for the major event that finally got him to seek help.

"๐˜š๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ, ๐˜”๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜บ, ๐˜”๐˜ข๐˜ฅ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ, ๐˜™๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ฉ, ๐˜Š๐˜ฉ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ข๐˜ฏ, ๐˜Ž๐˜ข๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ. ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ฆ. ๐˜ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ'๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ. ๐˜ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ'๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ."

There were a lot of hurdles between Xander and Derek before they could make a real go of it. The two major ones being Xander's mental health struggles and Derek's ethical concerns over Xander having been a patient. This took up much of the book, which is divided into 3 parts. I never stopped rooting for them though. Even though I didn't want to, as a health care worker, I agreed with Derek and his insistence on waiting. I also felt this was helpful for Xander in that he and Derek could form a strong bond by allowing themselves to get to know each other on a platonic level.

The ending for this one was just perfect in my opinion. After everything, I'm certain it all played out like it was supposed to. I was so happy to see all the Bertha Boys settled. This series has been so fun to read and I will miss this crew and their shenanigans.


GreenwingReads review:

This was the first book of this series I read, but after seeing the gorgeous cover, I had to read it. While I definitely think I would have enjoyed the dynamic more had I read the other books in the series, I wasn't lost or confused at all coming into this so late.

Xander is such a sweetheart with so much sass. Saxon did such an amazing job writing his character. I adored him so much but also felt so heartbroken for everything he dealt with. All of his friends were so great with him and so patient, he had a fantastic support group. But as they are growing up and meeting their partners, life is changing and it's scary for Xander. He's happy for his friends, but he doesn't know what this means for him, especially since he can't have the man he wants.

For his part, Derek was great with Xander. He treated him kindly, but didn't coddle him like Xander's friends tended to do. He was patient and sweet. He felt torn, wanting to pursue his own life but feeling stuck by his need to help Xander. I understood what Derek was feeling, but it also was frustrating. He put his entire life on hold for a man he had feelings for, but he wouldn't make the necessary changes to pursue something with Xander.

I did feel like the way that Derek guided Xander to a relationship to make sure they were pursuing each other in a healthy, positive way was really great. He set boundaries and for the most part stuck to them. He gave Xander structure and made sure that they were both in the right headspace. He also learned that he couldn't put everything on hold for Xander and had to give himself permission to pursue his own dreams.

I love Saxon's writing and character development. This was another hit for me and Xander is going to live rent free in my head for a long time.


Heather's Review:

I'm so sad that the Accidental Love series is done, but what a way to finish... From the beginning, Xander's character has intrigued me, where he was so focused on himself and what was happening to him from the inside out, that he really didn't see how his issues were causing him to lose more than just a chance with Derek... but was also straining his relationship with Seven and the others at Big Bertha.  

I was pleased to see that Derek was firm in his needs to not cross professional lines and that Xander had to learn better coping skills without Derek's help.  It was good to see that holding firm to his convictions was important.

I think the whole situation was thoughtfully researched and well balanced with the love story and that it gave the reader a chance to empathize with both characters.  

I also really loved the connection to the nursing home and the snark factor that was present there.


Not Catching Love is currently available as an e-book, paperback and hardback and can be read as part of your Kindle Unlimited Subscription

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