Pretty F*cked, Pretty Broken #4 by J.R. Gray

Pretty F*cked gives us the couple we've all been waiting for since it was first teased in the Pretty Broken series. This is the first book in a duet featuring Caspian and Iris, and fair warning, it's going to break your heart and if you're like me I don't think it's going to be put back together until the next one comes out in May. 

From the blurb:

Caspian Locke

I don’t think we even begin to understand love until we’ve lost the one we thought we’d spend the rest of our life with.

I don’t think we begin to understand ourselves until we realize that it’s most likely our fault.

And I don’t think we begin to understand life until we understand it comes in so many shades of gray.

You can be a good person and still do irrevocable harm.

Life is messy, so fucking messy.

I hate it.

Or maybe I hate myself.

I thought for a long time I hated him.

But I can’t hate Iris.

No matter how much he hurts, I still carry this little fucking wish in the depths of my soul that one day he’ll forgive me and admit he still loves me.

Part of life is living with the burden of what I’ve done and waiting for a day that will never come.

This is that life.

And we all come out Pretty F*cked.

Jacqueleen the Reading Queen's Review:

"𝐖𝐚𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐬? 𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡𝐲."

I knew this book was going to hurt. I knew it going in and yet I wasn't prepared for the level of angst and heartache this book would cause me. Caspian and Iris love each other fiercely, but they just cannot seem to get out of their own way. There's so much back and forth. So much pain. And so many misunderstandings from making assumptions I don't think I can could count them all. It's like they can't help hurting each other over and over again. Yet despite everything, Iris loves Caspian and Caspian loves Iris.

"𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞. 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞. 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞."

There's a reason it's impossible and that reason is because these two men are meant to be together. I know it. They've been through too much and fought too hard for them not to get their HEA. Unfortunately, they aren't going to get it in this book. I'm sure you've gathered from all his previous book appearances that Iris is not okay when it comes to his mental health. He may be the glue that holds the band together, but he can't do the same for himself. He's falling apart and killing himself slowly, while Cas is stuck helplessly watching. Love can only heal so much and Iris has to want to heal. You can't force a person to love themselves, they need to do it on their own. I'm crossing my fingers that his journey to healing will take a turn in a positive direction with the conclusion of the series in Pretty Black.

"𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐦 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦, 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦."

Rating: 5 Stars

Sheena's Review:

This is best read as part of a series, and follows on directly from the last so it's not a standalone at all.

I've been a big fan of this series from the very first book, I loved all the Pretty Broken boys, but no lies told here, the story I really wanted all along was Cas and Iris.  Iris is such a compelling character, he's woven through the lives and stories of all the other band members and from the very first moment I met him in River's book, it was his story I wanted most.  Leaving him and Cas until last is absolutely the right thing and it was so worth the wait.  I had a feeling this was going to be an intensely emotional book, and I wasn't wrong. 

Cas and Iris have a long, and complicated history and that's unveiled to us through clever flashbacks detailing their story over the years, and how they got to the point they're at when we start the book.  These two really do belong together, but there's so much baggage there, I knew it was never going to be a straightforward HEA for them.  There's also the overhanging evil of Alexander, who's only got worse as the book goes on and we discover just how much he's messed up these boys' lives.  I thought this would be the last and I am more than happy to discover there's going to be a sequel to this.  Cas and Iris, and Pretty Broken, deserve that.  I really, really want Alexander to get what's coming though, I want it so badly.

Rating: 5 Stars

Pretty F*cked is available to buy as an ebook, paperback, or to read with Kindle Unlimited subscription