From the Blurb:
Broken beyond repair, who is going to save him now?
He should have died in the accident. Somehow he survived. His body is shattered and his soul is crushed. It’s going to take a miracle to heal him.
The nightmares and flashbacks are killing him. The scars have destroyed him. But he was broken way before the crash. He’s damaged goods and he needs a hero.
Suddenly he was back there, pinned against the steering wheel, bones sticking through his skin, his suit soaked in blood, surrounded on all sides by crumpled metal.
Putting people back together is James Hayden’s speciality, but he isn’t prepared for the way Matt Harmon bulldozes into his life like a hurricane. The attraction for him is instant and he is torn between his feelings and his professional boundaries.
“Why would you want to help me?”
“Because you need it. Because you’re drowning.”
Matt will never admit an attraction. He’s straight and he’s never looked at another man in his life. But James isn’t just any man. He’s the only one who understands what Matt is going through, and the only one who can save him from himself.
I wanted to feel how his lips soothed and subdued me again. Made me into a different person. A better man.
Possible Spoilers:
Themes: hurt/comfort, nurse/patient, bisexual awakening, forced proximity, angst, slow burn
Warnings: Violence and strong language. PTSD. Sexual scenes. See front of book or author’s social media for more.
Excerpt:
The nurse arrived at nine the next morning. Severine had already brought Matt his breakfast, and he lay wincing at the pain in his pelvis and ribs as he tried to get comfortable against his pillows. The door opened.
“Mr. Hayden to see you,” Severine said.
The nurse entered Matt’s bedroom. He was in his late thirties and smaller than Matt, maybe five-eleven to Matt’s six-two. He had a lean, well-proportioned body and wore a black shirt and black trousers, smart in appearance. He was attractive. Very attractive. Even Matt could admit that. He had jet black hair slicked back with product and pale skin. He was closely shaved and way too well-groomed for a guy. But then being well-groomed didn’t equal gay, or Matt was gay too.
He approached Matt’s bed, and Matt tensed as he always did since the accident when he met someone new. He waited for that inevitable flicker of the gaze onto the scar before the person tried to pretend they hadn’t noticed and looked him too firmly in the eye. Matt always reacted with a stony glare to tell the person they were a shallow idiot. He watched the nurse like a hawk as he drew closer, and he waited to despise him as much as he despised everyone else.
“Hi,” the nurse greeted him, hand out, gaze on his, not straying from his eyes. “James Hayden.” He smiled, his teeth perfect and pearly. Aquamarine eyes, like pale, glassy seawater, surrounded by thick black lashes appraised Matt. The nurse seemed at ease. He didn’t seem uncomfortable, as if Matt was a scarred freak. Matt felt both confused and grateful.
“Matt Harmon,” he replied, taking James’ hand. His palm was warm and dry, his grip firm. “Take a seat.” He indicated the chair close to his bed and James did so. “Can I get you a drink?”
“Your girlfriend already asked me. I’m fine, thanks.”
Matt smiled for what might have been the first time since his accident. “That’s my housekeeper. She’s fifty-nine, and married with four children.”
James grinned. “Well, you never know.”
For a moment of silence, their gazes held. “Do you know about me?”
“I know you’re picky about your nurses.” James didn’t look away. Matt wasn’t sure he liked the thorough appraisal.
“I need the right person.”
“And that person is a man?”
Matt bit his lip. “I’m not a misogynist.”
“Never thought you were.”
“I needed somebody strong, you know, helping me to the bathroom and stuff.”
“Of course.” Still James watched him with those eyes like a tropical lagoon.
“I was nursed by a lot of women in the hospital. I found it embarrassing.” Matt looked away. Why exactly was he explaining himself to this guy?
“I get it,” James said.
Matt took a breath. “It’s a live-in position for the duration of my recovery. “Five days on, two days off.”
“Who looks after you on my two days off?”
“My friends. I don’t need you twenty-four seven.”
James eyed the long leg cast, the sling, the bruising all over Matt’s bare torso and the newly-undressed surgical wounds. “Don’t you?” he asked with skepticism.
Matt stared at him for a moment. James had just made him feel inadequate once more, even if he’d not meant to.
Maybe he saw the look on Matt’s face. “Why don’t we just see how it goes? I’ll assess your needs.”
My needs are far more than you could ever provide. Like a fucking shrink for starters, to help me with the nightmares and flashbacks.
Matt bit his lip. Emotion overcame him.
“I’d say your immediate needs are adjusting those pillows behind you.” James stood up.
Matt leaned forward, wincing in pain. His shoulder brushed James’ as the nurse reached behind him. Matt got a whiff of expensive cologne, some brand that he owned himself and loved the smell of. Something about it was comforting. He felt the warmth and muscle of the nurse’s body, and he sank back as James moved away.
His friends didn’t hug him when they came to visit, because it hurt him too much. They had all always been touchy-feely, and it made him feel awkward. He hated being touched, had always hated it, even during the act of sex, where he kept kisses and caresses to a minimum and tried to get to the business in hand as soon as the woman would allow him. Something in the back of his mind sometimes told him this was a little abnormal, and he had never felt this more acutely than when he was in the hospital. When his nurses had leaned over him, when he had smelled their fresh, feminine scent and felt the warmth of their bodies, he had longed to recoil. At the same time, their proximity had left him, confusingly, a little desperate for… something. He wasn’t sure what. He felt the same when James leaned over him and he smelled that cologne. It made him angry that the accident, the altered body image, and the enforced dependence on others had appeared to leave him not just physically weak, but emotionally weak, too. Was this weakness obvious? Was he now a man to be pitied?
“Are you okay?” James moved back to his chair. “Did I hurt you?”
Matt shook his head. “I’m fine. When do you want to start?” He surprised himself with his question. He hadn’t given James any sort of real interview before hiring him. He was simply too tired to care anymore. If James didn’t work out, he would fire him as he had done the two nurses before him, and just get another.
James smiled, which lit up his handsome face. “Let me go back for my things, and then I’m all yours.”
“Fine. Severine will show you to the guest room when you get back.”
James nodded. “See you soon.” He strode from the room.
Matt stared from the window. He watched James exit the house and walk to a black Hyundai parked beside Matt’s BMW. He couldn’t help suspecting that James had got the measure of him from just one meeting—a reclusive, cold, unemotional man. A front to hide his desperate need for help.
****
First impressions? A voice asked James on his way home.
He sighed, because he could no more deny it than he could walk around with his eyes shut.
Hot, all right? Hot as unholy hell.
His new patient’s physical presence dominated the bedroom. He doubted Matt had ever walked into a room in his life and not dominated it. Even lying in bed he was clearly tall—over six feet—and long-legged, solid with muscle. He was bare-chested and it was an early morning treat to view his broad shoulders, massive biceps, honed pecs and rippling six pack. Even marred by bruises and scars, James had trouble tearing his eyes away from the heavenly sight.
Fucking pervert. Shame on you. He’s your patient.
Hey, I’m a red-blooded man. You’d have to be blind not to notice that guy.
And you’re working.
Matt’s handsome face was the icing on the cake of his impressive body. A strong jaw, sensual lips, cropped dark brown hair and dark green eyes fringed with lush lashes. When he’d smiled and showed even white teeth, James’ stomach had clenched on heart-stopping lust. He was beautiful despite the scar on his face, but his eyes were cold. They seemed to challenge James to find him ugly. Nothing could be further from the truth.
He’s hurting. There’s something going on with him. Maybe PTSD. And he doesn’t like to be touched either.
What are you going to do about that?
Be professional. Help him.
Ha, you just said he was hot. How can you be professional when you want to fuck him?
I never said I want to fuck him.
Oh, sure.
Shut up. I’ve worked for hot people before. I can control myself, you know.
I bet you can. We’ll see.
Heal Me is available for pre-order now on Amazon and will be available as part of your Kindle Unlimited subscription April 1, 2023.
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